The Lighter Side
you know that you have been breeding too long when:

 

You and your dog use the same kind of hair brush, and you never can keep straight whose is whose.

You spend eight hours grooming your dog for a show the day before, and 1.25 minutes pony tailing your hair the morning of.

You think people with bad bites shouldn’t be allowed to breed.

When someone mentions singles bars, you wonder if they are talking about Utility or Agility jumps.

When you go "clubbing", you have your choice of the All-breed, Specialty, Training, or the Parent Club.

You once made earrings out of old rabies tags, and all your friends wanted a pair.

Your non-doggy friends can’t understand why you’re so excited about your new CD.

Your mother is ecstatic to see you browsing the aisle with the hair coloring, after hounding you for three years to try highlighting, only to be disappointed when she finds you are looking for the exact shade of black to "touch up" your rusty tricolor.

Your only nice jewelry features either dogs, dumb bells, or rosettes.

You think it really would be easier if you just had yourself spayed.

 

The only other group of people who have as much familiarity with DNA testing as your doggy friends is the O.J. Jury.

You know you’ve waited too long to find a mate when . . . you think stripping is something you do to your terrier.

When you talk with your friends about sex, you’re discussing progesterone testing, vaginal cytology, and artificial insemination. You think nothing about loudly discussing studs and bitches in a fancy restaurant.

You start seriously thinking about offering your dog at stud just so SOMEONE in the house is getting some action.

The first thing you notice about a guy is what breed of dog he has.

Your big turn-off is a guy with an obnoxious untrained dog.

You rule out a guy as a prospective date based on the breed of dog he owns.

You dismiss all the guys your Mother introduces you to as "not breeding quality."

You have a video on how to artificially inseminate your dog, but last watched a dirty movie in Junior High School.

When you talk about "scoring," you mean how you did at last weekend’s Obedience Trial.